Food & Drink

Questions We Have About Chris Rock's Oscars Girl Scout Cookie Stunt

Chris Rock Girl Scout Cookies
Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

By now you should be attuned to American comedian, actor, director, writer, producer, voice artist, and Academy Awards host Chris Rock's Girl Scout Cookie bit at last night's Oscars. If you aren't, here's what you need to know: Chris Rock called upon the legions of mad-rich celebs in the audience to buy hundreds of dollars worth of cookies from his daughter's Girl Scout troop. He teased Leo, John Legend waved around a $100 bill, and Matt Damon made out with a Thin Mint. It was cute and fun, for sure, but also confused us deeply.

Here are some things we're left wondering about:

1. Was this fake?

2. Did these girls really sell $65,243 worth of cookies?

3. At $5 a box, why isn't the final total a multiple of five?
By these numbers it appears they sold 13,048.6 boxes.

4. Thirteen thousand boxes? Really?
Even if people were shelling out $10 a box on average, that's still 1,300 boxes. No way. 

5. Was all that money from direct sales or did celebs just end up donating?
If so, does overpaying violate any Girls Scout policies, provided there was any legitimacy to this at all?
 

6. Is this Leo’s "O" face?

7. What were/are the distribution logistics for all those boxes?

8. Will the celebs only receive the bulk of their cookies in two to three weeks like the rest of us plebeians?

9. Were those really his daughters?
Rock actually does have two daughters, ages 11 and 13, but they were not present, according to Linda Dunn.

10. Um, who is Linda Dunn?
Apparently she is the Rock family's confectionary arch-nemesis. According to the Oscars host, she's the lady that always beats his own daughters in the annual cookie-selling competition. She is actually a Girl Scout troop mom, and owner of her own marketing company. Here is her LinkedIn, in case you want to connect/endorse.

11. Joe Biden gave Chris Rock $20 for cookies. But what does Joe Biden have to do with the annual American awards ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (A.M.P.A.S.) to recognize excellence in cinematic achievements in the United States film industry?

12. Is Morgan Freeman stealing a cookie and then splitting really "all of us"?

13. Does John Legend like Girl Scout Cookies enough to buy $100 worth?

14. What's John Legend's favorite kind of cookie?

15. Is Chrissy Teigen actually a Savannah Smiles person? Does anyone actually favor Savannah Smiles?

16. How pissed is Gordon Ramsay?
No word yet from the ornery English chef, but we can assume he's super pissed.

17. Is this worse than selling Girl Scout Cookies outside of a weed dispensary?

18. No seriously, is this fake?

 

A photo posted by Jennifer (@ferdalump_lane) on

19. What role is known-method-actor Christian Bale preparing for here?

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Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Thrillist. His favorite Oscar is the Grouch. Follow him: @wilfulton.

Carrie Dennis is a Food and Drink editor for Thrillist. She wants to believe. Follow her on Twitter: @CarrrieDennnis.