If R. Kelly's grocery list is any indication, he's a man of distinguished taste. And of food shaped like dinosaurs.
To celebrate the dropping of Mr. Chocolate Factory's new album Black Panties, we've combed through his lyrical catalog for the best food references, looking past the gratuitous lines about Patrón, stripper poles, and cats -- which he loves so much that he can't help but lick them. Gross!
So keep reading to learn more about what other small animals Kells loves to eat.
The Best Cheap Italian Food in NYC
"Candy, caramel-coated taffies, chocolate-covered strawberries / Love so sweet, you're my chocolate factory / Gum drops mixed with chocolate, milk bars, there's so much variety / Love so sweet, you're my chocolate factory"
Perhaps the only Roald Dahl metaphor grosser than "chocolate factory" is "golden ticket".
"Your love is like a lollipop / You're so sweet / And your body's like a lemon drop / Sure taste good to me"
Lollipop? More like a sucker.
"Let's go to the IHOP, babe / No matter how the food may taste / It’s your body I’m thinking of"
Even if she ordered the short stack, she'll go home full.
"Cookie cookie cookie / I'm a Cookie Monster / Break your back, crack it open like a lobster..."
We cracked the whole song open right here.
"Sex In The Kitchen"
"Sex in the kitchen over by the stove / Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls / Hands on the table, on your tippy toes / We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed"
Kells has, nor needs, any reservations.
Twista - "So Sexy" (feat. R. Kelly)
"All the shrimp and lobster honeys / Downtown shoppin' honeys / Stayin' on the grind / Got ya own car and crib honeys"
Even when it comes to crustaceans, Kells swallows the tail.
"If I'm With You"
"It really don't matter, who's first in the shower / Fruit platter from a young maid every hour"
That's a lot of fruit!
"Got a sweet tooth for you girl / Baby I'm tempted to taste / I can't wait to drink your milk / You're lookin' like a big ol' piece of cake / I'm all up in your middle / Ooh, it taste like Skittles"
Taste the rainbow!
"Turning Me On"
"Like a thick-crust pizza / Boo, I'm getting that cheddar"
"Kellz caked up, make her call me the baker / Man, he a hater, she gonna see me later"
Even on the craziest of nights, he's always got bread on his mind.
Ginuwine - "Hell Yeah (Remix)" (feat. R. Kelly)
"I'ma follow y'all 'til the hour where the honeys at / Give me some cheese egg steak and gritz / Then hit the after-party with Gin and them boys Clipse"
R. Kelly without a steak? That's rarer than rare.
"Cristal poppin' in the stretch Navigator / We got food everywhere as if the party was catered"
Hot and fresh out of the catering van.