16. BBQ Recipe Beef with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust
Confession: I'm not into BBQ sauce, so that certainly affects the ranking here. Its thinly sliced beef and sweet, runny BBQ sauce makes a McRib seem like Franklin BBQ. And be careful -- because the beef is so thin and there's no cheese or veggies to hold it together, biting into it could send an arterial spray of hot and tangy/sweet sauce out the back of the crust.
15. Beef Taco with Seasoned Crust
The taste here reminds me of taco-flavored chips, albeit with big chunks of beef. There’s a little spice, but it's all overwhelmed by the seasoning, which tastes like you accidentally dumped a whole spice packet on top of a taco, then shrugged and said "screw it." This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your feelings about taco seasoning.
14. Cheeseburger with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust
Ok, I’m confused here, because I taste ketchup, and there’s a tomato on the box, but it’s all orange and full of meatballs. It tastes like what I'd imagine a person who has never had a cheeseburger might think a cheeseburger tastes like, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But I'm a little sad, because Hot Pockets also makes these little round burger bites that -- one time, after a long bar night -- reminded me of White Castle in all the best ways. The onion chunks are nice, though!