Cockroaches are your dining partners
A bug in a restaurant is not going to kill you, unless that bug is a brown recluse spider and it bites you immediately after you sit down. Even a few flies or a spider shouldn't be enough to dissuade you from a meal at a restaurant you love. But cockroaches are nothing to play around with, because if you see one, chances are there are others lurking about. And in a worst-case scenario they might all fall on your head at once.
The name is suspiciously similar to a better restaurant's
We're sure Fame-ish Ray's is great and all...
The restaurant specializes in cuisines from two distinct culinary styles
We're referring to restaurants that claim to make great pizza and gyros. Sorry, but it takes serious culinary skill to do either one of those dishes justice. No chef is going to make top-notch pizza and gyros. Do you think you can get excellent gyros at any of these pizzerias? No. No you cannot. Would you ever eat in a restaurant that served Tex-Mex and sushi? Then it's probably not advisable to eat in a Thai spot that makes sushi, either.
The staff constantly insists they're "under new management"
A restaurant "under new management" is like a guy who cheats on his girlfriend and then begs for forgiveness because "everything is different now!" But nothing really changed, Jennifer! Especially if the decor, staff, and menu are basically the same as they were before the management "changed"… if it sucked before, it'll probably still suck.
The food is served through bulletproof glass
We're not saying this is a totally bad sign, but if the glass has impact marks on the inside, something might be amiss.
There are suspicious banners outside
We'll forgive some "Grand Opening" banners hanging for over a year. Hell, who hasn't left their Christmas decorations up until February some years? But the banner that says "No E. coli for 40 Days and Counting"? Not so much.
There's a parking space outside marked "Reserved for Exterminator"
Chances are the food in the restaurant will really bug you.