A sign in the window offers discounts for Yelp reviewers
Bribery, plain and simple.
You keep noticing delivery guys bringing food in instead of out
The second after you step inside, you should step outside.
When a server asks you, "Are you sure you want to order that?"
Same goes for if they chuckle and shake their head when you order something. You have two options at that point: listen to the server (because they know more about the food than you do), or run like the wind. We suggest lacing up your favorite cross-trainers and Usain Bolting the hell out of there.
The kitchen is a symphony of beeping microwaves
On the plus side, it does kind of sound like a Skrillex B-side. And at the end of the song you get barely edible meatloaf that belongs in a TV dinner!
The employees beg you to stop in as you walk by
No way! Unless there's a discount for Yelp reviewers…
There is a dead person in the middle of the floor
We're guessing his last meal wasn't what he was expecting.