Your order wasn't screwed up because of a clerical error
"We've all been drinking. Period."
It's very, very obvious that you're on a first date
"Ordering for that girl with the shifty eyes, who keeps looking at her phone, was your first misstep, but rest assured you've given most of the staff a giggle."
Your wandering eye is not subtle
"We know you’re looking over the menu at our racks, and we will exploit your perviness by flirting for tips."
If you don't like your drink, you might be a hero
"Sorry you mistook a Manhattan for a Cosmo, but don't be surprised if your order is messed up again after you send it back… mainly because we just quaffed the drink you rejected, and we’re still thirsty.”