You once studied abroad in Italy, and are either a vegetarian or strangely not very into prosciutto. Ordering grilled cheese is just a little too low-brow for your tastes, but you will make it at home late at night and not tell anyone. You will put sliced tomato and dried basil on it, take a photo, and Instagram it under #caprese. It's not the last lie you will tell tonight.
Many of your personal life decisions and wardrobe choices could be described as cartoon-like. Also, you are morbidly obese, but blame your glands.
You have chronic flatulence, and you pack this sandwich every day so your co-workers just think the smell is your lunch. You actually hate egg salad, but it was either this or a seeing-eye dog, and you decided that pretending to be blind at work was too much trouble.