Saturday Night Live's glory days were dominated by food-related content. I'm talking Schweddy Balls, cheezborgers, no Coke (Pepsi!), Sloppy Joes served up by suspicious-looking lunch ladies. This was the stuff of our TV-obsessed youth, the dinner table jokes everyone's mom had it up TO HERE with.
Relive SNL's culinary greatness with these 25 mouthwateringly hilarious sketches.
"Pizza Eating Business" (2013)
Entrepreneurial genius Barb Kelner stumbles upon the best business idea in the history of time: a professional pizza-eating company where she, the sole employee, eats your leftover pizza.
"Natural Causes Restaurant" (1977)
A pair of washed-up hippies only serve the meat from animals that died of natural causes, to the bewilderment of a couple of far out restaurant-goers. Basically, this is Portlandia before Portlandia.
"Taco Town" (2005)
Honestly, if I saw this zany parody commercial for Taco Town's new pizza-crepe-taco-pancake-chili bag on TV tomorrow, I'd believe it was real.
Back when Adam Sandler was funny (RIP), he performed this true '90s classic skit featuring the likes of Mr. Lunch Lady himself, Chris Farley (also RIP, but for real). Sloppy Joes, anyone?
"Almost Pizza" (2012)
It's not delivery, it's not DiGiorno, it's Almost Pizza! But wait, what is it? Can you eat it? Is it pizza? Does it have powers?? What is even happening in this commercial????
"NPR's Delicious Dish: Schweddy Balls" (1998)
In this unforgettable NPR spoof, our esteemed "Delicious Dish" hosts feature a very special new Schweddy product just in time for the holidays: balls. And when you're 13 years old, there is literally nothing funnier than two middle-aged ladies saying the word "balls" (um, also when you're 30).
... and, of course, "Schweddy Wiener" (2001)
And who could forget Alec Baldwin's scene-stealing follow-up appearance debuting his Schweddy Wiener? No one. The answer is no one.
"The French Chef" (1978)
Dan Aykroyd plays a particularly accident-prone Julia Child who attempts to debone a chicken and ends up spraying blood literally everywhere. It's pretty excellent.
"Dunkin' Donuts Commercial Shoot" (1997)
Anybody remember that "Time to make the donuts" Dunkin' Donuts ad? Probably not, you silly millennial. Regardless, Jon Lovitz still slays as the soon-to-retire commercial star, set on getting his before getting out of the biz.
"Chewable Pampers" (2009)
See, these diapers aren't just biodegradable, they're food-grade edible... and horrifyingly disgusting. But seriously, Kristen Wiig's knack for bathroom humor is always, always so on point.
Sometimes there are just too many flavors to choose from, you know? Especially when you're Jason Segel playing a whacked-out Andre the Giant, for some reason. I mean, I feel this. I'm also feeling this adorable tiny cone.
"Samurai Delicatessen" (1976)
A samurai owns a deli (hilarious!) and has a very unique approach to slicing sandwiches (a sword!). This is your dad's favorite food-related sketch starring your dad's favorite SNL alum, John Belushi.
"Crystal Gravy" (1993)
Picture a goopy, completely clear gravy that tastes fantastic and makes your mashed potatoes look like they've been drenched in lube. Cool, right?
This is it, the food skit to end all food skits: the Olympia Restaurant. Steve Murray et al. bring the house down with their impersonations of Chicago's disgruntled Billy Goat Tavern staff and it's never not funny. Annoying uncles the world over, you're welcome.
"The Anal Retentive Chef" (1989)
OK, so there's this chef, and he has an old-school cooking show, and he really, really hates disorder. And messiness. And pretty much everything else. Also, Phil Hartman + John Goodman = magic.
"Sexy Cakes" (1994)
Patrick Stewart plays a pervy baker owner trying to sell a super-weird, very un-sexy cake to a bachelor party. Trust us, Sexy Cakes is not a regular bakery, it's a fun bakery.
"Jamie Lee Curtis for Activia" (2008)
Hungry for more Kristen Wiig gross-out material? Look no further. Though ya girl might be keeping it a little too real with her portrayal of a very, uh, probiotic-rich Jamie Lee Curtis.
"Top Dog Chef" (2013)
Actual dogs (OK, actors dressed as dogs) compete in a dog version of Top Chef where they cook dog-like things in a dog-like way and have dog-like names. To be honest, they had me at "Padma Leash-me."
"Cooking Class" (2003)
THE Jack Black cameos as an instructor at the Learning Annex (one of those free schools for bored grown-ups), assigned to teach a bunch of oddballs to cook. Hilarity, of course, ensues.
"Brownie Husband" (2010)
Duncan Hines' latest parody product also happens to resemble every woman's dream man: tall, dark, and smelling of rich milk chocolate. And that goes double for Liz Lemon.
America's spiky-haired sweetheart is at it again, this time accompanied by an all-star cast of lunatics (i.e., Kid Rock) who are all totally stoked on Christmas. Shit gets weird.
"Super Bass-O-Matic" (1976)
According to Dan Aykroyd, no modern kitchen is complete without a Super Bass-O-Matic, a highly technologically advanced (read: 100% average in every way) blender that just purees raw fish. Yep.
"Nikey Turkey" (1990)
In this seasonal charmer, Chris Rock looks like a teen, the song is undoubtedly fresh, and that turkey-'90s basketball sneaker hybrid looks cool AF. This is solid gold SNL.
A group of fried chicken-enthusiasts grieve over the loss of their messiah in this early-'80s hit sketch. There’s nothing like drowning your sorrows in a bucket of chicken.