Every holiday season since I can remember, my mom has made a gingerbread house from scratch. The recipe and the pattern sit undisturbed throughout the year, only to emerge sometime after Thanksgiving so that she can start the three-day process of building the thing. It's a lovely tradition. But I am not my mother.
Did you see this fucking pizza house? Here's how you make it.
You will need:
3. Math skills
5. A blow torch
6. Four thin-crust frozen pizzas (I used Newman's because I am intimately familiar with this brand's structural integrity. Nights can be lonely in Ditmas, OK?)
7. One box of Ellio's (two to be safe)
8. String cheese
9. Assorted pizza topping decorations
10. A large, UN-CUT delivery cheese pizza
11. Nothing better to do