Senator Ted Cruz Says He Hates Avocados
As the nation examines the fallout surrounding last night's 2016 presidential primaries, one recent development has cast a shadow over the entire pack of GOP candidates: Ted Cruz hates avocados. In an exclusive statement to US Weekly, the Texas senator confirmed he hates the single-seed fruit, saying, "I hate avocados."
Why Cruz doesn't think every smooth, creamy, delicious dollop of avocado is like a little wink from the big guy upstairs that says "I got you, buddy!", we have no idea.
We can only assume that the senator is unaware that the fruit is chock-full of fiber, Vitamin B6, and carotenoids, or that avocados are a bona fide superfood. It is also unclear whether or not the senator understands avocados contain incredibly high amounts of "good fat," fiber, and precious Vitamin C.
We're hopeful, though, that Cruz will one day realize the fruit is an all-natural hangover cure, perfect for a rough morning after, following a black-tie gala, or a presumptive pig roast on the White House lawn.
While Senator Cruz has not offered specific comment on guacamole, his distaste for avocados makes his guac platform potentially explosive. But, you know, to each his own, or whatever.
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