"This woman, with all of the seriousness and contempt in the world, looked down her contoured nose at me and snarled, 'But do they have fish?'
"I, a small helpless queer in an ill-fitted polyester suit, just pushed the menu closer to her and squeaked, 'Yes, see?'
"She did not believe me. Her polished friends were furiously texting her about how stupid this restaurant sounded, which I know because she was shouting her responses at them.
"She glanced over the menu (for Blueacre SEAFOOD Restaurant) and declared that they had 'too much meat' (one steak item and one turkey sandwich apparently qualify as too much meat). She then CALLED THE RESTAURANT and said, 'Do you have fish?'
"I'll never know what the hostess at Blueacre said, but it caused this woman to whip around and stomp over to our bellman and demand of him, 'I want a seafood restaurant recommendation!'
"He (having no idea what I had just endured) smiled, whipped out a voucher for a free appetizer, and said, 'Yes! I love Blueacre Seafood, just two blocks from here!' She shrieked at him that they have too much meat, and then she and her polished pals stomped out the door in an absolute rage.