"Finally, the customer asked, 'Does it come with a drink?' At this, my friend lost it and yelled, 'What the hell's the matter with you? Are you blind?' He heard a hurt-sounding voice behind him say, 'Yes, I am.'
"My friend turned around and there was the blind customer in the dark glasses and carrying a blind person's cane. My friend said, 'Oh my God. I'm going to hell!'
"He paid for the blind guy's dinner." -- Darrell Wharton
Take allergies seriously, dammit
"My wife is allergic to capsaicin -- the active ingredient in chili peppers, so no hot pepper sauce, chili powder, jalapeño poppers, or even paprika for her. It's a major hassle, and it's usually less stressful to just eat at home. One day though, she gets talked into going out for lunch with some of her co-workers.
"As she orders something that seems safe -- a grilled chicken sandwich -- she explains her situation to the waitress. She also stresses that the waitress needs to talk to the chef and make sure there are no chili peppers or chili powder in the rub or marinade. The waitress disappears into the kitchen and returns a couple minutes later. No problem, she says, the chef has assured her that there is no chili powder in the seasoning.