"Finally, the customer asked, 'Does it come with a drink?' At this, my friend lost it and yelled, 'What the hell's the matter with you? Are you blind?' He heard a hurt-sounding voice behind him say, 'Yes, I am.'
"My friend turned around and there was the blind customer in the dark glasses and carrying a blind person's cane. My friend said, 'Oh my God. I'm going to hell!'
"He paid for the blind guy's dinner." -- Darrell Wharton
Take allergies seriously, dammit
"My wife is allergic to capsaicin -- the active ingredient in chili peppers, so no hot pepper sauce, chili powder, jalapeño poppers, or even paprika for her. It's a major hassle, and it's usually less stressful to just eat at home. One day though, she gets talked into going out for lunch with some of her co-workers.