"Greg appeared roughly five minutes later, a tall, stocky guy with a huge beard and beer belly that indicated he liked to party. My friends thought this dude was going to be awesome. Only thing was, during all that time in grad school, my friends didn't have the time to experiment with a litany of mind-altering drugs like their friend the restaurant manager had. It was clear to me within seconds: Greg was tripping fucking balls.
"Greg stared at us for an uncomfortable amount of time, before someone asked him what he would recommend for a drink. Greg leaned in, cupped his hands around his mouth, and whispered almost inaudibly '... beers …' Then he walked away. Literally just strode off somewhere else. I quickly informed my friends that all the signs were there that this dude was in rough shape, but before I could finish, the woman the hostess had nodded to earlier came by and started taking our drink orders. Her name was Julia, and apparently she was Greg's handler for the evening. She brought our drinks and took app orders, before appearing once again with Greg to attempt to take an entrée order. Greg was shaking by now, and had sweated through his uniform, and was in no way capable of being at work, let alone out of direct medical supervision. Valiantly, Greg recommended the seafood pasta and when Julia prompted him to list the ingredients, Greg did his best to say 'shrimp… and other shit.' As we giggled at the hilarity of that comment, Greg reared back, pointed his face to the ceiling, and bellowed 'IT'S TAAAAAYYYYSTTEEEEEEE!' The entire place came to a halt, people were staring, you could hear a pin drop. Greg took that as his cue to unleash another primal delivery of his 'IT'S TAAAAAYYSSSTEEEEE!' tagline. Then, once again, he just walked away.