Food for Patriots
1. Bill Belichicken Fries
If Bill Belichick hadn't sold his soul 18 years ago in return for unprecedented, sustained football success, he would probably give it up for these homemade chicken fries with nacho cheese.
2. Tom Brady's Forbidden Eggplant Parm
TB12's draconian, peak performance diet precludes him from eating eggplants... for some reason. But that shouldn't stop you, right?
3. Gronk-tastic Yo Soy Fiesta Enchilada Cups
Noted fun-enthusiast and amateur Spanish attempter Rob Gronkowski may not make it out of concussion protocol this Sunday... but you can still celebrate his greatest locker room quip with these handheld enchilada cups. It's like a party in your mouth, and only you are invited.
4. Masshole Ramen Lobster Rolls
Park the cah. Hit up Dunkin'. Then whip up this trashy, totally Mass-hole riff on a New England classic for some wicked tasty treats while living vicariously through Tom and Co. on yet another Sunday.
5. Malcom Butler's Perfectly Timed (Apple) Turnovers
The only thing better than a Butler INT in crunch-time is a crunchy apple turnover anytime.
6. Semi-Deflated Grilled Cheese Dumplings
Just get a toothpick, and take out approximately/allegedly 2 pounds per square feet of air from these suckers to fully complete the theme.
7. New England Pâtériots
If your Super Bowl party doesn't have a big ol' bowl of pâté, is it even a Super Bowl party at all?
8. Five-layer dip... or six-layer dip (depending on how confident you are)
You can either opt for a dip with as many layers as New England has Lombardi Trophies, OR you can go for as many layers as New England will (statistically, probably) have by Monday morning. The choice is yours!
9. Double-Dynasty Grilled Cheese Dogs
As the Pats propel towards what can reasonably be considered their SECOND dynasty this century, they deserve a double serving of this extreme, artery-busting grilled cheese hot dog.
10. GOAT Stew
Do it for Tom.