It must be said, though, that beyond the trappings of cereal dusting and sugar in all its myriad forms, the overall Cap'n Crunch Delights experience is first and foremost a greasy one. Moreover, if you don't eat these puppies while they're fresh and warm, you'll end up with soggy, cold sugar-balls. Which, you probably don't want. So eat 'em quick.
Basically, Cap'n Crunch Delights are to dessert what Taco Bell is to Mexican cuisine: a twist of tradition, albeit a potentially delicious one, that must be enjoyed immediately and without consideration for what they'll eventually turn into.
Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and his teeth still hurt from these babies. Follow his dental surgery on Twitter @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to email@example.com