Did you cook dinner last night? That was a dumb move, buddy.
Look, YOU aren't dumb (I mean, probably), but cooking dinner in modern times is like sending your friend a telegraph to tell them you're going on a Zeppelin trip to the USSR.
It's outdated. Overrated. And unnecessary. Wake up, sheeple!
I was once like you. When I moved to New York City four years ago, my first apartment came furnished with a calculator (for some reason), a three-legged wooden stool, and one busted stove. The burners worked, but the pilot light inside the main oven would go in and out intermittently, requiring relighting and more power drilling than even Tim Allen would prefer.
It was then, out of necessity, that I realized something that would change my life: cooking was for suckers. Giving up the stove gave me more personal time, wasn’t that expensive, and, in the end, made me love food even more. In our modern world -- with Bluetooth toilets, ear-growing mice, and holographic hip-hop revivals -- we shouldn't have to slog our increasingly scarce free time away over a burning stove when Seamless is just a few clicks away.