Since the dawn of time, Man has sought to conquer mountains, laboring to the summits in the eternal struggle to assert himself in the face of Mother Nature's most towering monoliths. It is the subject of many an epic poem, of scores of Led Zeppelin songs. Man has perished on the snowy faces of Everest, and has stood tall among the spires of the gods.
But Arby's Meat Mountain is a different beast. Spawned from the unholy depths of social media -- forged, it is suspected, by the wand of a marketing sorcerer of tremendous power -- it is as it sounds: a towering pile of every land-faring meat on the fast-food chain's menu. It is a secret item of such malice that it spawned from the dreams of warriors, eschewing vegetables in favor of a heaping mound of beef, swine, fowl, and glory.
Undeterred, we ventured to the nearest Arby's, plunked down $10, and began an ascent to glory... and the descent into madness. This is our tale.