Sure, E L James might have spiced up "vanilla" sex in the suburbs, but what about actual, honest-to-goodness vanilla-flavored sex? In honor of Valentine's Day, we braved an adult novelty shop (which was oddly crowded on a Tuesday) in search of a smorgasbord of edible "romantic aids"... because nothing says "sexy" like the word "smorgasbord".
In the name of science, we assembled a dream team of taste-testers, including exotic dancers (and former sex shop workers) Elle and Juniper from Portland strip club Lucky Devil, comedian Aaron Ross, Thrillist editor Andy Kryza, and unsuspecting normal citizen Alison to endure a highly lubricated day of eating erotica. The palate cleanser was whiskey. The scars are permanent.