Handholdability: 8 -- “This thing’s got waffle grips!”
Overall taste: 7 -- Close your eyes. Ignore the bruised flesh-looking guts. With that slightly crispy waffle surrounding it, it still basically tastes like a funnel cake. That state fair-ness is the only thing giving it this 7. They could put a Mounds bar and some seaweed in here and it would basically taste like funnel cake.
Price: 9 -- 79 cents? Deal! You get what you pay for, and it’s certainly edible, which is always a good thing for food to be.
*While we were in there, a customer walked in and tried to order it, commenting, unsolicited, on how fantastic it was the first time. He nearly cried when he was told the damning news.