The 15 greatest fast-food slogans of all time
In honor of BK changing its slogan to “Be your way”, we decided to revisit some of our favorite slogans from fast-food spots over the past 50 years. Get ready for some hot food/sexual innuendos!
Fast Food for Fast Times. (Burger King)
Did you know that in 1986, there was a seven-episode, made-for-TV remake of Fast Times at Ridgemont High? And that Moon Unit Zappa participated as a “technical consultant”? Anyway, this is, like, the least sexual of all of BK’s slogans.
Now you’re eating! (Pizza Hut)
You know a slogan is good when it’s literally about the action of doing it, rather than the food.
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Colonel Sanders. (KFC)
Playing off the famous editorial in the 1897 New York Sun in which the columnist famously LIES TO A CHILD ABOUT CHRISTMAS, this KFC slogan is catchy and also probably played well in a certain specific South Atlantic commonwealth.
You’re the Boss. (Burger King)
BK wants you to believe you are Bruce Springsteen when eating their delicious chicken sandwiches. Also, this is a little more overtly sexual, if you think about it from, like, a dominatrix-missive type angle, which we haven’t so whatever.
We speak fish. (Long John Silver’s)
LJS INVENTED A NEW LANGUAGE, PEOPLE. Bonus points because they could team up with the people from Rosetta Stone, and move units. Synergy, friends. Business is all about synergy. Also, Dippin’ Fish Strips.
We do it like you do it. (Burger King)
Just another example proving that, in the '80s, BK’s ad team was run by a 14-year-old boy.
It takes two hands to hold a Whopper. (Burger King)
STOP TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, BURGER KING!
If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face. (Carl’s Jr.)
This is like an evolved version of the ol’ BK sex strategy, but more blunt and harder to say aloud when driving in a car with your mom.
We’re hot and on a roll. (Zero’s Subs)
I like this one because -- if you add #lylas -- it’s exactly like what a totally not-self-aware hot girl in high school would say about her clique as her yearbook quote.
It’s Mac tonight. (McDonald's)
How much better would this have been if they were actually referring to a) Macaulay Culkin, or b) that Mark Morrison song I listened to everyday in 8th grade? Still pretty good though.
Where’s the beef? (Wendy’s)
I kind of love this one, and not just for the obvious reason that it involves an old woman yelling, but also because it’s basically kind of the same as a Biggie song, and it reminds me of a time when I dated a girl only because she had her license and a pretty good CD player in her car, and I did not. I miss you, [NAME REDACTED OUT OF POLITENESS].
Buy a bucket of chicken and have a barrel of fun. (KFC)
Ignoring the amazing transition from bucket to barrel for a second, I’m really digging old KFC because they seem to ignore every normal truism about slogans, and go hard in the opposite direction. Also, how good would chicken be if they served it in actual mini-barrels? I should be a marketing strategist.
Think outside the bun. (Taco Bell)
This is a good one, because it’s like what a middle-level motivational speaker might use as his clever opener at a marketing conference at the Terre Haute Radisson.
Your mom wants you to eat at Jimmy John's! (Jimmy John’s)
Speaking of your mom, this sounds like a comeback from that scene at the start of White Men Can’t Jump featuring Dwayne Wayne, which is reason alone for it to be on this list.
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. (McDonald's)
The clear winner, considering I just did that entire thing from memory without even looking, and I can’t even remember my social security number.