The Best Kale in Every State in America
Kale is hot. There probably hasn’t been a hotter vegetable since Popeye-era spinach, or maybe since people realized that you can make broccoli smaller and far more edible just by putting an “ini” at the end of it. But unlike men (even the ones who love kale), not all kale is created equal. So we set out on a nationwide search, and tracked down the best kale in every single state in this crazy kale-loving country of ours.
Welcome to Kale University, enrollment, EVERYONE.
AlabamaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Especially the kale in Huntsville. Mmm, good stuff.
AlaskaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Did you know some parts of the year Alaska has daylight almost the whole day? Think of how much kale-eating you could get done!
ArizonaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Kale prevents heat stroke among the elderly.
ArkansasWhat you’re getting: Kale
Wooooeeeeee Kale Soooiiieeeee!!!
CaliforniaWhat you’re getting: Really nice kale
California is in a major drought. KALE!
ColoradoWhat you’re getting: Kale
Somehow that potent, dank kale has ALWAYS been legal here.
ConnecticutWhat you’re getting: Kale
Kale > Yale.
DelawareWhat you’re getting: Kale
The First State was busy ratifying that Constitution so they could get their kale on.
FloridaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Florida has a problem with thousands of invasive pythons hiding out in the Everglades. Maybe lure them out with some of that kale?
GeorgiaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Kyle Korver Kale... is, in retrospect, not the best idea for a business venture for the sharpshooting Atlanta Hawks forward. But that opens up a big-time opportunity for Al Horford.
HawaiiWhat you’re getting: Kale
Famously immortalized on iconic volcano Mt. Kale-auea.
IdahoWhat you’re getting: Kale
Idaho scientists are working to cross-breed kale with the potato, but until then, kale is the pick here.
IllinoisWhat you’re getting: Kale
They dye the Chicago River green every March. It isn’t supposed to have anything to do with kale, but who can really be sure?
IndianaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Have they been in the news lately? It wasn’t kale-related, was it?
IowaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Chris Kingsbury ate so much of this kale in college you guys. It worked. Look it up.
KansasWhat you’re getting: Kale
Rock. Chalk. Jayhawk. But also kale.
KentuckyWhat you’re getting: Kale
The secret to getting a horse to run fast? Post-race kale party! Also steroids.
LouisianaWhat you’re getting: Kale
No joke: there is nothing better to eat in New Orleans than their kale.
MaineWhat you’re getting: Kale
Maine may have gained statehood as a part of the Missouri Compromise, but this state does not compromise the quality of its kale.
MarylandWhat you’re getting: Kale
Try sprinkling some Old Bay... on second thought, nah, this kale is too good all by itself.
MassachusettsWhat you’re getting: Kale
Harvard and MIT are two world-renowned universities where people probably also eat kale sometimes.
MichiganWhat you’re getting: Kale
Kale just might be the new automobile. Think about it.
MinnesotaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Jucy Lucy? More like Somewhat-Dry Kale!
MississippiWhat you’re getting: Kale
There’s no excuse for this much obesity with kale of such fine quality.
MissouriWhat you’re getting: Kale
The Show-Me State! Hey, how about you show me and everyone else some of that top-quality kale?
MontanaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Montana is the fourth-largest state by area. Use more of that space to grow that yummy kale guys!
NebraskaWhat you’re getting: Kale
An underrated Bruce Springsteen album, and an underrated kale state.
NevadaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Not making wholesome Nevada kale a part of your diet is the real gamble -- WITH YOUR LIFE!
New HampshireWhat you’re getting: Kale
It’s just really solid kale, okay?
New JerseyWhat you’re getting: Kale
Don’t fuggedabout the really good kale that’s here.
New MexicoWhat you’re getting: Kale
“Buena col rizada” is Spanish for “good kale.”
New YorkWhat you’re getting: Kale
The real "Empire State of Mind"? Thinking about eating a buncha kale.
North CarolinaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Dean Smith died and left all his former players $200 for a nice dinner. Hope he won’t be mad when Dante Calabria spends it all on kale!
North DakotaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Wait, the other one has Mount Rushmore? Whatever, there’s still kale!
OhioWhat you’re getting: Kale
Well, it’s no Michigan kale, but Ohio is still more than holding its own in the kale department.
OklahomaWhat you’re getting: Kale
OregonWhat you’re getting: Kale
Fact: LaMarcus Aldridge would rather play for the Kale-blazers.
PennsylvaniaWhat you’re getting: Kale
The best cheesesteak recipe? Take two handfuls of kale and go to town.
Rhode IslandWhat you’re getting: Kale
The smallest state in the union is big on kale flavor!
South CarolinaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Hootie & the Blowfish started here. On a related note “Let Her Cry” is a really good song to listen to while eating some kale and sobbing about your ex-girlfriend who dumped you in 1995.
South DakotaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Badlands become Goodlands if you’re eating kale.
TennesseeWhat you’re getting: Kale
Kale-house rock! Get it, because Graceland is here?! They probably don’t have kale there, but soon maybe?
TexasWhat you’re getting: Kale
The line at Franklin BBQ is always crazy-long, which is super confusing because they don’t serve kale?
UtahWhat you’re getting: Kale
The Mormon religion isn’t so hot on alcohol and caffeine. Neither of those are in kale, so party time!
VermontWhat you’re getting: Kale
Vermont is nicknamed the Green Mountain State. Is one of those mountains covered in kale? Possibly!
VirginiaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Don’t be cavalier... and dismiss this state’s nutritious and delicious kale.
WashingtonWhat you’re getting: Kale
Have you ever watched the guys tossing fish around at Pike Place Market? Ignore them, they’re just trying to distract you from all the mouthwatering kale.
Washington, DCWhat you’re getting: Kale
Kale to the Chief, amirite?!
West VirginiaWhat you’re getting: Kale
Country roads... take me home... so I can... eat some kaaaaaaale!
WisconsinWhat you’re getting: Kale
Pro tip: you can’t really make cheese out of kale, but it doesn’t matter, because this is some really good kale!
WyomingWhat you’re getting: Kale
Have you ever gone to Yellowstone National Park? Big mistake pal, that time could have been spent enjoying some of the nation’s most Vitaman A-rich kale!
When not writing for Thrillist, Tuck Danbridge is a Hollywood stuntman who specializes in high-speed car work and big falls. He doesn’t believe in Twitter because he’s too busy believing in kale.