18. "Can you charge my iPhone for me?"
Your server can do this if you're okay with your iPhone sitting in a random side-stand without anyone watching it while pitchers of water and dirty plates get thrown around it.
19. "Can I get this teeny, tiny last bite of food wrapped up in a to-go container?"
Save your server the trouble, save the environment from another piece of Styrofoam, and just eat that last bite.
20. "Do you have a restroom?"
Of course we do. This is a restaurant. What you want to know is "where" it is.
The Bitchy Waiter lives and works in New York City and has been waiting tables pretty consistently for almost 25 years. He has discovered that writing stories on the Internet about annoying customers is better than poking the annoying customers in their eyes with forks. He enjoys The Brady Bunch, The Facts of Life, and cocktails almost as much as he hates your baby. Follow him: @bitchywaiter.