Food & Drink

Relive the sweet, sweet sounds of stretching out a Caramello

Published On 04/29/2013 Published On 04/29/2013

In the '80s, back when Patrick Chewing didn't even have a Ch, and Betty White was a youthful 96, jingles sold candy bars. Just like the stray nougat on your Bugle Boys, they stuck with you. And so now we present six of the all-time greats -- four you can probably still sing word for word, and two dark chocolate horses. Caramello What you remember: everything in the world stretching out-out-out. What you don't: just how tight this dude's vest game was. Whatchamacallit Fantastical flying machines. UFO disintegrations. Existential statements. Peanut-flavored crisp. Whatchamacallit. Kit Kat Demanding pieces of people's food is infinitely more socially acceptable when you're good at singing. Almond Joy & Mounds Sometimes you feel like advertising a single product in a commercial. Sometimes you don't. Snickers This one's less of a jingle, and more of a '70s funk soundtrack under a bunch of white people giving testimonials about how great peanuts are. The dude in the three-piece may be Tim Matheson. 3 Musketeers Songs about nougat are awesome. So are girls beating dudes in arm wrestling on top of checkerboards. So is remnant '70s candy bar packaging. Photo: The Sparkling Recoverer