The couple who orders a massive prix fixe and eats none of it
There are hungry people out there who wouldn't mind going on a romantic date with that roast duck.
The couple you're a part of
You guys look totally happy. And you're definitely going to make it.
The couples at every other table in the place
It'll never last.
A huge special thanks to NYC's Hundred Acres, who kindly let these unlovable weirdos in for the photo shoot.
David Blend was Thrillist's original editor. These days he has his fingers in many, many pies, probably too many pies to count, but rest assured that all the pies are very fulfilling. Twitter @daveblend and you will be rewarded, but not with pie.
Lee Breslouer writes about food and drink for Thrillist, and was once in six of these couples simultaneously. Follow him on Twitter @LeeBreslouer, because you can't make a name that good up.