How high is he right now? So fucking high! How bad does he have the munchies? So bad that he’s been staring at the same pile of snack foods for at least 20 minutes while loudly declaring how high he is. Has anybody ever been higher? Why yes. It was him. Every day since he started puffing.
He has no idea where your brand new glass pipe went, so just stop asking. You probably misplaced it. The next time you see him, he will have a pipe that looks suspiciously like yours. But don’t worry. He’s had it since, like, forever.
One puff , and he’s immediately back in high school, talking about the time that he and Boner and Scudd ripped a gravity bong before the most epic Panic show ever. Man, those were the days. You have no idea who Boner and Scudd are, despite having known him since kindergarten. And it wasn’t a Panic show. It was Umphreys.