Soak up the grease with a napkin
If you have any semblance of man/womanhood, you won't dab your grease. You ordered a pizza, dude, not a wedge salad. You knew you were going all in. And... if you must, must, must get some of the grease off, prop your pizza up on one side, and let the excess grease drain out into the box. It's like an Aztec aqueduct, but with way more calories and a lot more awkward looks from the waitstaff.
Put pineapple on top
There should be no fucking fruit on top of pizza. Unless that fruit is a tomato or pepper, because no one considers peppers or tomatoes fruit except for Wikipedia. And farmers, I guess. "Well, what about Hawaiian pizza, you dick?" you ask? Well, interesting specialty pizzas have their place on counter displays... but ultimately they're kind of irrelevant novelties, like the Full House reboot or Bernie Sanders (prove me wrong kids, prove me wrong).