The Fighting Couple
They are always fighting. In the lobby of a movie theater. In a bar. In a booth at a restaurant. At the gym, while running next to to one another on the treadmill. And now in the checkout line in front of you at Trader Joe's. "I thought you said you got the orange chicken." "You said you were going to get it." "Wait, don't we have it at home already?" "Go get it now before we have to check out." "It's too far away." "Maybe you could run faster if you went to the gym more with me." "Why do you make everything about you?" They've been together for five years and will never break up.
Anyone Who Tells Themselves They're Coming in to Buy One Thing
He did it! He went in and got the honey-roasted almonds and is leaving now! Let's just ignore the fact that he's also walking out with a cart full of Baconesque popcorn, Hatch chile mac & cheese, and Candy Coated Chocolate Drops. He is pissed at himself.
The Yoga Fanatic
After she spent the afternoon dropping $58 on a Love Tee and $118 on a pair of Hot Like Agni Pants (these are real names of actual Lululemon clothing, people), that doesn't leave much in the ole budget for, you know, food. So she skips buying the organic arugula at Whole Foods and buys the exact same organic arugula (except for its packaging) at TJ's. She's not proud of herself, but she has to make sacrifices somewhere.