2 Little Girls Review the American Girl Bistro

girl and american girl eating
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Hahahahaha you thought getting a table at [insert the most popular restaurant in your city] was hard? Well, that's probably because you've never tried to book a four-top at American Girl Bistro, an impossible-to-get-into restaurant that you'd never WANT to book a four-top at unless you were 1) a little girl who plays with $120 dolls that portray historical characters from the 18th-20th centuries (like Depression-era Kit Kittredge, who struggles to adjust to the realities of the economy after her Father's job loss!), or 2) a Dad of said little girl.

American Girl house
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What the hell is this place?

The restaurant is located inside the American Girl store, the insane hub of all things $120 dolls, with two stories' worth of outfits, accessories (there's a miniature VW Bug!!!), a doll salon where you can totally not weirdly get your kid's doll's hair braided, and the Bistro, where you can also TOTALLY NOT WEIRDLY dine with your doll. The reservation struggle there is real -- you're looking at a month-or-wayyyyy-more wait for a table you'd actually want, and they don't take walk-ins because NO ONE bails on their American Girl Bistro reservation.

American Girl doll
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So how's the food? What about the service? Is the interior cool? Is it actually worth the month-long wait? Well, to find out, we decided to enlist the foremost authorities on the matter: two 5-and-under little girls. And we asked them to rank almost everything from 1-to-5 stars (1 is worst, 5 is best).

American Girl Bistro
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The interior

Harper, 5 years old: "What's the 'interior'? Oh. I think it's good."
Kennedy, 3 years old: "Why is there a roof on here????"

American Girl doll
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The drinks

Harper, 5 years old: "[My doll] Molly is gonna have some water. Her favorite drink is water because she likes that there's ice in it."
Kennedy, 3 years old: "And [my doll] Kirsten loves orange juice because she likes the color orange. I'll have milk. Because it tastes like juice. Well... lemonade, but I like what they put in there."

American Girl doll
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The napkins

Kennedy, 3 years old: "I have to put it on my lap? But Kirsten doesn't have a napkin on HER lap."

American Girl doll
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The service

Kennedy, 3 years old: "Who's service? Oh, that lady? Who is her name?"

artichoke-spinach dip at American Girl Bistro
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The Warm Artichoke-Spinach Dip

Kennedy, 3 years old: "Yum!"
Thrillist: "Do you want more?"
Kennedy, 3 years old: "No. That's OK."

little girl
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How many stars would you give it (from 1-to-5)?

Harper, 5 years old: "That was only 1."

chicken nuggets at American Girl Bistro
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The Best-Ever Chicken Tenders

Harper, 5 years old: "I like that they put a little bit of salt on it 'cause that will make it taste good... oh, that's pepper? Yeah, I mean pepper."

American Girl doll
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How many stars would you give it (from 1-to-5)?

Harper, 5 years old: "6 stars. Molly had the same thing as me. She thinks it's 6 stars like me."

macaroni and cheese at American Girl Bistro
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The Macaroni With Lots Of Cheese

Kennedy, 3 years old: "It's good."
Thrillist: "What do you like about it?"
Kennedy, 3 years old: "That they put some cheese in it."

American Girl doll
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How many stars would you give it (from 1-to-5)?

Harper, 5 years old: "I would do 3."

grilled cheese at American Girl Bistro
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The Grilled Cheese

Harper, 5 years old: "I really liked the cheese and their bread cause it's nice and soft."

American Girl doll
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How many stars would you give it (from 1-to-5)?

Harper, 5 years old: "That was 5."

brownie sundae at American Girl Bistro
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The Hot-Fudge Brownie Sundae

Kennedy, 3 years old: "6 stars!"
Harper, 5 years old: "It's good. It's like 24 stars."

Grant Marek is a senior editor at Thrillist and he kinda wants the doll-sized VW Bug. Offer to let him borrow yours on Twitter: @grant_marek.