Make mussels with jalapeno-mint butter faster than you read this sentence

Rachael Ray might have a way to make 30 Minute Meals, but no one can stomach listening to her for that long has that kind of time to cook, so we've devised a miraculous way to make legitimately kickass meals in no more than two minutes and nine seconds, then put on some cool number graphics that will make you think of Jack Bauer. Our first recipe -- for mussels with jalapeno-mint butter -- comes from Paul Reilly of the fantastic beast + bottle in Denver. Here's what you'll need: INGREDIENTS1/2 lb mussels1 tablespoon shallot1 1/2 teaspoon garlic1 jalapeño, sliced in rings1/3 cup white wine2 tablespoons butter2 tablespoons chopped mintjuice of 1/2 lime1 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoon oil

Prep quickly by chopping up the jalapeno/ garlic/ shallot, and then sweat those suckers in oil. It's like a Russian bathhouse for your vegetables.

Add mussels. To add muscles, do 50 squats a day.

Deglaze with wine. That's fancy terminology for "add wine and let it cook". Don't be afraid of fire.

There's nothing to be afraid of in this photo. Seriously, we asked the chef and he said it's cool to have this much fire when you're making it at home. The mussels will start to open now.

Cover the pan. Stare off into space. This recipe is just over two minutes long, and part of that time is standing there and being bored.

Add butter, squeeze some lime juice, and reduce some more. The sauce will thicken.

Finish with salt and mint leaves. You're done.