Do you think not writing down my order makes you look cool? Because you look stupid. Being able to memorize every order from a four-top is not going to win you any memorization competitions, either. I remember when I went to a restaurant in my teens and I saw a server memorize a super-complicated order. I was impressed when my order came out right. Now, it was impressive at the time, but keep in mind that back then I also listened to a lot of Vanilla Ice ("I grabbed my nine, all I heard were shells!"), so you should take my judgement with a grain of salt. I also don’t recall ever being blown away by any server’s memorization skills since then.
Maybe you don’t write orders down because you can’t find a pen anywhere. Customers must steal your pens all the time after tipping a paltry 10% and then "forgetting" to return it. Here’s the bottom line: if my burger comes out with some nasty garlic aioli on it... I’m probably still going to give you a 20% tip. Ugh, I can’t not do it.
Your job is tough. But when I write the tip, I'm going to stare deep into your eyes. Now let's see how you like it. Oh, you do like it. Wait, are we gonna kiss now?!
A Customer Who Wishes You'd Write His Order Down, and That His Burger Weren't Drenched in Aioli
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Lee Breslouer is a senior writer for Thrillist, and dislikes most forms of eye contact. Follow him to keeping your head down at: @LeeBreslouer.