7. New York slice is a snack while a Chicago style is a meal
Sure, you could order a Chicago pizza by the slice, if you were a barbarian. No, the civilized way to eat this kinda pie is just like that -- in a full pie, sitting down at a table. New Yorkers devour their slices on the subway, standing at counters, or straight up strolling down the street like some kinda Jon Travolta lookin’ buster.
8. Different celebrity pushers
Jon Stewart famously described Chicago pizza as “tomato soup in a bread bowl” and “an above ground marinara swimming pool for rats.” Nick Offerman was more generous in his description of New York pizza, yet still pulls for Chi. “I love a slice when I'm in NYC, but it's like eating a Slim Jim compared with a filet mignon. One slice of Gino's East stuffed sausage pizza is a bigger meal than an entire New York pie." Which really embodies the ethos of the entire battle: aggressive vs. gluttonous. Fast vs. slow. The individual vs. the group.
So while there are some real physical distinctions between the schools of pizza, maybe the real difference -- maybe, just maybe -- is in our hearts? Stop laughing.