Crispy tacos with chicken, cheese, and salsa
You have a fondness for Matt Christopher and Hardy Boys books. You often wear shirts with the Animaniacs on them, and call girls “icky” and “smelly” and “realistically out of your league”. You are 37 years old.
One barbacoa, one chicken, and one carnitas soft taco, each with a different type of salsa, cheese, and sour cream combination
You won “most friendly” in high school, and said hi to everyone in the hallway, including Rick. You don’t make fun of people with a ton of bumper stickers, even internally, just to yourself. You hated Lebron’s ESPN special “The Decision”, not because of its audacious, lame, and overblown premise, but more just because you felt uncomfortable that he had to choose at all. You don’t get laid a lot using online dating sites.
Steak soft tacos w/ red chili salsa, cheese, sour cream, and lettuce
You have a (leased) sports car, with a vanity license plate. You were good at one varsity sport in high school, but it isn’t the one you tell people it was. You live life in the fast lane. Literally, you’ve gotten three tickets for speeding this year, which partially explains why you’re always eating Chipotle.
A carnitas burrito bowl with everything
With you, it’s not about what you’re spending, it’s about what you’re saving. You once bought an owl box for your backyard, just because it was 70% off, and you don’t even have a backyard. You keep a running tally in your head of all the money you’ve ever won/lost gambling, so when you lose $300 at the casino, you can still convince your brain that you’re actually up $80 from four years before. You have trouble getting loans from non-private lenders.