A double-wrapped burrito, any style
When you leave your house, you automatically say “wallet, keys, phone” aloud three times. You don’t like riding public transportation because of people’s gross elbows and bodies and faces. The last impromptu thing you did was buy a Swiffer WetJet.
It doesn’t matter who you are, because no one really seems to understand exactly what you want.
A chicken quesadilla
You’re one of those people who ends up pressing the meat down on the grill several times even after Sam Sifton SPECIFICALLY SAID not to. You also tend to leave your seat belt off even in cars where it beeps, and pretend not to notice. Actually, you may have a hearing issue.
The Kid’s Menu chicken quesadilla with chocolate milk
A kid, hopefully, or at least young enough-looking to get carded when attempting to buy cigarillos from gas stations.