Though you may not know it, the fast-food chain you love the most is actually a gateway into your soul. And since one of us very nearly majored in sociology, we feel confident that we can tell everything we need to know about you from that choice. Check it out, and if you disagree or want to Venmo us money, do so in the always-classy comment section.
Suspecting you might have royal ancestry, you started to trace your lineage but balked at Ancestry.com’s pricey $19.99 membership. Instead, you spent the money on a Whopper Jr. and, like, 600 chicken nuggets.
Steak ‘n Shake
You love John Mellencamp almost as much as you distrust anyone who is lactose intolerant.
You own 36 pairs of roller skates, but have never actually skated. You like Joaquin Phoenix’s versions of Johnny Cash songs more than the originals. Your computer screensaver is of three hedgehogs, but most people can only really see two.