Double-Double (two burger patties, two slices of cheese, lettuce, tomato, and onion)
You’re down for whatever. You’re never the first person people call to hang out with, but you’re also not the last. You’re the third guy in the group in a teenage movie, the guy standing next to the guy standing next to William Zabka in Karate Kid. You actually read a lot, but no one asks you about it.
Cheeseburger, Animal Style (mustard grilled patties, extra spread, grilled onions, and pickles)
Oh sh*t. You know the deal. You know how secret menus work. You’ve been to a speakeasy-style bar that was relatively hard to get into, twice. You learn your waiter’s name at sit-down restaurants, on the off-chance you might come back. You have three chambray shirts, but you only wear two.