Editor’s Note: This is the first in our series of deep culinary investigations led by our Official Taste Tester, Mara Montalbano. She used to be a crime reporter on Staten Island, so don’t mess with her.
No matter how broken your heart is or how much weight you’re trying to gain that you swear you’re going to turn into muscle at the gym, there’s only one good reason to eat an entire sleeve of Oreos in a sitting: research.
I was told I’d be tasting as many different kinds of milk as the Thrillist staff could find at Whole Foods. I was afraid I'd be poured anything from alligator milk to Olivia Wilde’s breast milk. The spread was actually a lot less scary, but still impressive: goat milk, dairy milk (whole, 2%, fat free, & chocolate), a variety of unsweetened vanilla non-dairy milk (coconut, almond, rice, soy, hemp, quinoa) and -- not from Whole Foods, but why the hell not use them? -- some little packets of half and half found buried in a drawer in the test kitchen.