Only after we all simultaneously laughed and cried ourselves into the nearest discount grocery store did Whole Foods respond to the backlash.
"We actually don't sell asparagus water in our stores," Whole Foods Market Senior Media Relations Specialist Liz Burkhart said in a statement to CBS News. The water was only briefly available in the company's Brentwood, California store before it was removed, she added.
But Whole Foods' explanation for the costly asparagus water isn't any less ridiculous:
"It was meant to be water with the essence of vegetables and/or mushrooms (similar to bone broth), which is typically made over a long period of time soaking in water," Burkhart said in the statement. "It was made incorrectly and has since been removed." First of all, watery veggie essence? And second, how did anyone think that sticking a few asparagus in a bottle of water was the right way?
Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and despite the absurdity, would totally taste it if it's free. Send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.