If even a few tables don't show, they face a 100% loss of profit.
When you brazenly reserve simultaneous tables at three restaurants and go AWOL on 66% of ‘em, you’re screwing the whole system. You’re like the self-involved tool who refuses to merge until the last minute and causes even worse traffic, or the windbag who thinks it’s totally fine to continue a personal phone conversation on a packed elevator. You are a problem, and someday, you may be my problem. And that, I simply cannot abide.
See, when a restaurant starts losing money to infelicitous no-shows, its manager -- if he/she is any good -- is going to make some changes. Those changes screw me over. They include, but are not limited to:
- Requiring a credit card on which to assess no-show fees to human trashcans
- Double-booking their tables like they’re seats on a goddamned airplane to hedge against your tiresome bullshit
- Issuing prix fixe tickets that are expensive enough to offset the lost opportunity of wine & beverage if your merry band of suck never materializes
- Offering fewer reservations to limit their exposure to ass-hats like you
- Abandoning the reservation system entirely
Any of these remedies, logical though they are from a business standpoint, are an inconvenience for the dining public (and for me, personally). Those more severe adjustments are a blockade between us -- the adults who honor their commitments -- and a damn dinner.