Honestly, small cinnamon rolls are nonsensical, if not dumb. The bigger a cinnamon roll is, the better, and it doesn't matter that you'll eat one bite and feel full; it's comforting to know that no matter how much icing and dough and cinnamon you consume, there'll still be more. Keep this in mind as we report that you can order a 5-pound cinnamon roll on the internet, and act accordingly.
Wolferman’s is selling this behemoth in honor of Cinnamon Roll Day, which you surely know is on April 10 and will soon become a bank holiday in recognition of our food comas. The "Gigantic Cinnamon Roll," as it's aptly called," costs $49.99 and can feed up to 40 people. Granted, that estimate doesn't show much faith in your ability to house carbs.
Accompanying these 80 ounces of dough will be 12 ounces of icing, which is about a beer bottle's worth. And there's nothing preventing you from treating it like one either, from a strictly legal perspective.
This ode to cinnamon and excess went on sale on April 2 and will only be around while supplies last. You can get 'em here. Best of luck.