"After the dinner, her friend pulled me and my boss aside and told me she couldn't believe my mistake and that this was her friend's first night out since her husband died, and I had ruined a young widow's evening with my incompetence. I cried.
"The widow later apologized for her bitch friend and said she really did want crab cakes."
Coffee shop smackdown
"This huge dude (cop said 6'7") came into the coffee shop with his girlfriend and is giving all the baristas a hard time. He asked for a Lone Star and complained that it was flat. Then he pours a little on the counter, to you know, show its flatness. We let it slide, and I walked into the back. Then I heard him yell out 'great job'.
"I come out and tell him he's not welcome at the coffee shop. He comes at me, gets in my face. I walk away but he follows, and grabs me by the collar, so I throw my dirty cleanup towel in his face. He proceeds to punch me hard in the side of my face, I return with a blow to the side of his head, and he goes down like a pile of bricks.