New Hampshire: Grape-Nuts ice cream
The Granite State may have taken its nickname a bit too literally with this WTF ice cream. Take one delicious, creamy cold treat and then completely ruin it with grandpa's favorite cereal. New Englanders may argue that this adds a crunchy counterpoint to the lush dessert. But the texture (and flavor) of concrete pebbles -- and the chipped filling -- is something we need like buckshot in the back of the head. We just expected more from a state whose motto is "Live Free or Die," like maybe one dessert worth the heart disease.
New Jersey: Pork roll
It sounds like a raunchy teen comedy. In its unsliced form, it looks like a hot dog stuffed with helium, a Goodyear blimp of meat. Basically, it's a devastatingly salty processed pork product that's an unassuming-but-nuclear threat to the cholesterol of anyone who's ever lived in the Garden State. The first time you bite into a pork roll, egg, and cheese (PRE&C, SPK), it feels the Boss himself just struck a power chord on your freakin' taste buds. You see, it only looks like Chris Christie. It plays like Springsteen. When placed between two bagel halves and paired with cheese and scrambled egg, it defies all logic. It jumps space and time. Your head will thud with the question: Why and how is this so good? And your body will answer: Shut up and just go with it, dummy. If you like ham, there's a good ch… actually, you know what, buddy? We don't care if you like it or not. Get out of our state, jerkoff!