The 17 worst social media food brags
Social media has revolutionized how people around the globe connect to each other, largely by allowing them to show off their amazing meals. But like snowflakes (albeit ones that are extremely entitled), there are subtle distinctions between the ways people show off those amazing meals.
Here are the 17 colors of the social media food-bragging rainbow. Next time you update your status, we'd very much not like to taste them.
Translation: My cooking sucks! But... it's also quite precious.
Translation: I sure am slumming it like a food-consuming commoner by eating expensive food that not many in the world can afford.
Translation: Someone did a nice thing for me, but they were way too stupid to do it in the appropriate manner.
Translation: I have mastered the Inception of brags by building one boast into a second one, thus flaunting my accomplishments and diet in one smooth status.
Translation: Yes, I have an adoring wife who will spend her time making things for me to devour. Oh, and we will also probably engage in shower sex later.
Translation: I was gifted something by someone whose poor taste makes them barely a member of the human race.
Translation: My life is so relentlessly awesome that I can barely keep up with it, and my entire week has been like a slowly-coursed French Laundry meal.
Translation: Uh oh, time to get back to a reality that's still way better than yours.
Translation: You don't even want to eat it, but you will! And are super excited to tell everyone, for some reason!
Translation: I'm making a really backwards analogy that is somehow a brag of entitlement.
Translation: Thanks for the amazing recommendation that I am very amazing for following.
Translation: I greatly enjoy and appreciate underrated foreign pastries.
Translation: What I spent at the farmers' market this weekend could feed a family of four for a month.
Translation: My cooking is so good the only way I could possibly improve it is by adding the hipster ingredient of the month.
Translation: Here's all my awesome food, but I have so much of it that I need to mention what couldn't fit in the photo.
Translation: If having this amazing thing is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Translation: Remembering my amazing food because I'm going to a normal place where people don't eat lobster rolls for breakfast.
Dan Gentileis a staff writer on Thrillist's national food and drink team. He hopes no one looks at his Twitter and calls him out on doing all of these. If only his handle @Dannosphere wasn't at the bottom of every story he writes.