Then, at the party, we'll drop passive-aggressive lines like, “Why do Germans eat so much meat?! But really, I’m SO fine sustaining myself on sauerkraut and soft pretzels. You just enjoy your wurst, birthday boy!!” We’re selfless, I tell you, SELFLESS.
We find it necessary to tell the world we don't eat meat
And don’t worry, you’ll never have to wonder about our dietary restrictions, because we will always make sure to tell you. We’re just considerate like that. Sure, you didn’t ask why I’m only taking the fries and not the chicken nuggets at the free office lunch, but I know you’re obviously wondering, so I might as well let you know that I “don’t eat that stuff.”
And if you detect an air of pride in that statement, well, it’s because there is one. You think me telling you how I don’t eat animals is a time for subtlety? Think again, bro. We relish the moments where we can reveal our moral superiority. And hey, I’m not saying we shouldn’t be proud of our choice because, look, we should be really damn proud.