You want to go to that new German restaurant for your birthday dinner? We'll say something like, “I mean, yeah, sounds good, I just hope there’s something I can eat there, but I’m sure it’ll be fine! But you know all they serve is sausage, right?” And we’ll show up to your birthday party, but not before attending a pity party for ourselves first.
Then, at the party, we'll drop passive-aggressive lines like, “Why do Germans eat so much meat?! But really, I’m SO fine sustaining myself on sauerkraut and soft pretzels. You just enjoy your wurst, birthday boy!!” We’re selfless, I tell you, SELFLESS.
We find it necessary to tell the world we don't eat meat
And don’t worry, you’ll never have to wonder about our dietary restrictions, because we will always make sure to tell you. We’re just considerate like that. Sure, you didn’t ask why I’m only taking the fries and not the chicken nuggets at the free office lunch, but I know you’re obviously wondering, so I might as well let you know that I “don’t eat that stuff.”