“What’s good here?”
Come on, man, at least give me a food category to work with.
“Take this cash and put the rest on the card.”
Sure, lady, I’d love what amounts to a 9% tip because your dumb ass can’t do math and won’t tip me on the cash portion.
“How spicy is [insert food item]?”
I have no clue what your tolerance level is, what am I supposed to say here?
“Make my steak medium-to-medium-rare-to-rare.”
Lady, all I’ve got is a button.
“Why did that table get their food first when we sat down first?”
Because physics decrees that their salad takes less time to cook than your hockey puck of a well done steak.
“What’s the most popular item on the menu?”
A 20% tip for me. *sad laughter breaking into tears*
“It’s not on the menu, but can I have [made up thing]?”
If you want to have the chef brandish cutlery at you instead of me, sure.