British candy is better than American candy, so buy these kinds, you wanker

London Candy Co - Cadbury Caramel

Catherine Wheels, Jammie Dodgers, Jelly Babies, and Barmy Todgers. Only one of those is a made-up British candy.You can now score the real ones at the newly opened location of The London Candy Co. on Bleecker St, where the coffee is Stumptown, the chips crisps are flavoured like shrimp cocktail, and the shelves are overwhelmed with candies you've probably never heard of. But they're like, kinda better than all our stuff. To help you navigate the chocolatey waters, here're 14 candies that'll start you off on your love affair with Barmy Todgers, which is totally not the fake one. Or is it?

London Candy Co - Crunchie

We might as well start out with one of the pinnacles of the British candy scene: the Crunchie. It's like if Honeycomb cereal was made into a bar and covered in chocolate, but somehow better than that.

London Candy Co - Aero

Aero time. For some reason, aerated chocolate just tastes better. No idea why.

London Candy Co  - Maltesers

Maltesers are like malted milk balls, but like, more stoic or something. Also, way more lightweight -- look at all that aeration! So that's great if you want to eat like 1000 of them.

London Candy Co - Wine Gums

Unfortunately, there's no wine in these Wine Gums, but they are quite gummy, and kind of taste like the love child of a Swedish Fish and a gummy bear. Kinky stuff.

London Candy Co - Flakes

No matter what you do, Cadbury's Flake bar will completely cover your desk with chocolate, and it will be totally worth it. So simple, and so delicious, it's another contender for the top bar. They apparently also have some very sexy commercials... See?

London Candy Co - Twist

The Twirl is kind of like a Flake, but covered in chocolate, and there're two of them. It's like Twix's cousin who's always talking about aubergines and footie and Bank holidays.

London Candy Co - Yorkie

If you want just chunks on chunks on chunks of milk chocolate, get a Yorkie. Also, apparently just like Dr Pepper 10, it's not for ladies. Even though they love chocolate. God these Brits are confusing.

London Candy Co - Smarties

Of all the British candies, Smarties might be the most well-known -- they're basically super-dignified M&M's, and have nothing to do with one of the worst Halloween candies of all time.

London Candy Co - Mars Bar

Bet you didn't know Mars bars were British. Well, now you do.

London Candy Co - Quality Street

NOTHING made on Quality Street could possibly be bad, especially assorted candies.

London Candy Co - Cadbury Caramel

Dairy Milk Caramel: it's like a less ethnic version of the Caramello.

London Candy Co - Chocolate Orange

Is this Chocolate Orange actually an orange just totally covered in chocolate? Only the British know. Also: no, it's not.

London Candy Co - Double Dip

In America, double-dipping is not our idea of fun. Fittingly, this Double Dip is like Fun Dip, although also not as fun. Or delicious. Plus, they only give you one stick.

London Candy Co - Lion

The Lion bar is kinda like a Kit Kat with a ton of chocolate and some Rice Krispies worked in there, and it has a goddamn roaring lion as its pitchman. Step it up, America.