Police in New Jersey are after a man they said stuffed $105 worth of pork loin down his pants and ran out of a Sam's Club without paying for it, NJ.com reported. The suspect is still at large - America, hide your fine meats and foods before this maniac shoves them down his shorts!
The man, described as 5-foot-10 and about 30 to 40 years-old, reportedly threw one pork loin at a store employee's feet before dashing out of the store with a whole other pork loin in his pants, according to the report. Just let that sink in for a moment: the Pork Loin Bandit didn't put the meat in his pants to be sneaky, or to avoid notice. He deliberately made a show out of the thievin', but decided to run out of there with the loin in his pants anyway.