After last night, you've pretty much only got three options right now: 1) roll over and go back to bed for all of 2015, 2) try to jump right into your resolution for clean living and fiscal responsibility (hahahahahahahahaha), or 3) find something to fix your throbbing head situation. These 26 NYC dishes should all do nicely:
What you're getting: Colonie Burger
How much could you go for a house-butchered patty topped with Edwards Farm bacon, Cabot cheddar, seasonal pickles, lettuce that's been wilted by pan drippings, spicy Thousand Island, beet root ketchup, and a runny duck egg, all on top of a 100% house-made bun with beef fat in it. Yeah, us too.
What you're getting: Waffle chicken sandwiches
This way you don't have to use your hands to eat that fried chicken, but you get to use your hands to eat waffles. Boom.
What you're getting: Sausage, egg, and cheese
This is the only place Shake Shack serves breakfast outside of an airport, annnnnd holy crap how much do we want a breakfast sandwich right now.
What you're getting: Lobster pizza
You've eaten weirder things after a night of drinking, admit it.
Lower East Side
What you're getting: Chicken biscuit
This is excellent. Really anything covered in gravy is excellent right now, but this especially.
What you're getting: Cheese khachapuri
Butter, egg, cheese, and bread. Perfect.
What you're getting: Capricciosa
Putting an egg on a pizza almost always makes it better, and eating a pizza almost always makes a hangover better, and life in general... man, pizza is awesome.
What you're getting: Brunch Pizza
What you're getting: Burrata French toast
Why didn't anyone think of this earlier?
What you're getting: Pretty much anything covered in Nutella
This one applies to pretty much anywhere you can get it, actually.
What you're getting: Patty melt with egg and bacon
Sure, it's a late-night option, but it's technically possible to be hungover at 4am. And it's more than technically possible to cure said 4am hangover with four patties topped with cheese, egg, and bacon.
Lower East Side
What you're getting: Bagel & lox
Sometimes you just want to keep it classic.
What you're getting: Lox and tobiko spread sandwich
Sometimes it's better to go new school.
What you're getting: Everything you can stick in your face
Dumplings on dumplings on dumplings is an excellent way to get over shots on shot on shots.
What you're getting: Breakfast tacos
Eggs are just better when they're in a taco. Why? Well, there are some things we may never know the answer to. And that's okay.
What you're getting: The Ol' Grumpy
Soft scrambled eggs mixed with grass-fed beef chili that's been braised in Sixpoint's The Crisp (so you're kind of keeping the party going), topped with pimento cheese, hot hot jam, and cilantro.
What you're getting: Burger wrapped in an egg
If you wrap a burger in an egg you can eat it before noon.
What you're getting: Chicken & waffles
They've got a ton of different options, but at this point, any of them would be amazing.
Lower East Side
What you're getting: Chicken & waffle Benedict
You know what else is amazing? Fried chicken Benedict.
What you're getting: Bacon tasting
Is there anything at all better than bacon?
What you're getting: Bacon on a stick
If there is anything better than bacon, it's thicker bacon.
What you're getting: Espresso-steamed eggs with freshly sliced prosciutto and shaved Parmesan
It's one of the best brunch spots in the city, buuuuutttt you could probably, maybe make this at home, minus the espresso-steamed part and plus the part where you'll eat all the prosciutto before the eggs are down. Still sounds pretty good though.
What you're getting: The Dirty Burger
VT cheddar, grilled onions, a fried egg, and delicious, restorative beef. Something like this might not cure your hangover, but it'll at least make you forget about it for a little while.
1. Colonie127 Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
2. Root & Bone200 E 3rd St, New York
3. Florian225 Park Ave S, New York
4. Tortas Neza at Juan Bar11103 Roosevelt Ave, New York
5. Cheeky Sandwiches35 Orchard St, New York
6. Berikoni - Brick Oven Bread125 Brighton Beach Ave, Brooklyn
7. Marta29 E 29th St, New York
8. GG's511 E 5th St, New York
9. Trattoria Il Mulino36 E 20th St, New York
10. Nuteria82 5th Ave, Brooklyn
11. Extra Fancy302 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn
12. Russ & Daughters Cafe127 Orchard St, New York
13. Black Seed170 Elizabeth St, New York
14. Waldorf Astoria New York301 Park Ave, New York
15. Golden Unicorn18 E Broadway, New York
16. Choza Taqueria600 11th Ave, New York
17. Untamed Sandwiches43 W 39th St, New York
18. Pasar Malam208 Grand Street, Brooklyn
19. Sweet Chick178 Ludlow St, New York
20. The Derby167 Orchard St, New York
21. BarBacon836 9th Ave, New York
22. The Woods48 S 4th St, Brooklyn
23. Buvette42 Grove St, New York
24. The Red Cat227 10th Ave, New York
Colonie is an upscale but unpretentious neighborhood restaurant in Brooklyn Heights -- it's the kind of place you go when you feel like treating yourself to a quality dinner and don't want somewhere sceney. You know what we mean. The menu has a little bit of everything: oysters, kale salad, burrata, pasta, and one very fine burger topped with aged cheddar, a fried egg, bacon, and beet ketchup. There is, of course, brunch, where you'll find that damn good burger again, plus monkey bread, buttermilk pancakes, and eggs Benedict. The space is simple with exposed brick walls, wooden ceilings, and touches of greenery.
Top Chef veterans Jeff McInnis and Janine Booth dominate Alphabet City's fried chicken scene with Root & Bone. It's a Southern kitchen doing takeout-able, down-home (yet sneakily refined) eats, in a spot that could easily be the ground floor of some country B&B somewhere. Irresistible offerings include gooey corn spoonbread, BBQ brisket biscuits, and, of course, fried chicken.
This Murray Hill spot comes from Fireman Hospitality (Redeye Grill, Trattoria Dell’arte, Brooklyn Diner…), and it has a make-your-own negroni program, and fantastic eats like lasagna osso bucco and veal chop parm.
The best tortas in town can be found from a little walk-up window at a bar in Corona, Queens. The chorizo and egg “Torta Chivas” is pretty much the best breakfast ever, and the carnitas are excellent, so be sure to make the trip up there.
Cheeky Sandwiches bring the best flavors from New Orleans to the Lower East Side, offering a heavenly variety of po' boys as well as sweet and savory sides. The secret behind the sandwiches is the bread, shipped directly from John Gendusa Bakery in New Orleans. The Creole and Cajun spot wouldn't be complete without its Big Shot soda, Zapp’s potato chips, beignets, Chicory coffee, and other NOLA natives and staples. The small snack shop is full of charm and warmth, decorated with a white picket fence in front, brightly painted shutters, and red bar stools to match.
Georgian bakeries are rare, even amongst the plethora of Eastern European eateries in Brighton Beach. Here, the most decadent order is the cheese khachapuri, essentially a stuffed cheese pizza (where the cheese tastes like a combination of mozzarella and feta) pulled right from the oven. It also wouldn’t hurt to take home a shotis puri -- the Georgian version of a baguette.
From Danny Meyer and the excellent chef of Maialino, Nick Anderer, this Roman-style pizza joint in the Martha Washington Hotel is serving up simple pies like a Margherita with buffalo mozzarella, and less simple pies like the Capricciosa with mozz, artichokes, prosciutto, olives, and egg.
GG's has eats like half-baked lobsters; oven-baked pasta; a pan-seared burger with white cheddar and melted onions; and an arsenal of pizzas including the Capo the Great, loaded with littleneck, cockle, and razor clams, mozz, ricotta, mascarpone, mushrooms, garlic confit, and rosemary.
Trattoria Il Mulino brings upscale Italian cuisine to the Flatiron district. This more affordable spinoff from Il Mulino is a winner at brunch time: meatball Benedicts, Hangover Pizzas, and Burrata French Toasts await your sleepy Sunday morning taste buds.
Nuteria's a bite-sized shop in Brooklyn’s Park Slope that's covering everything in hazelnut chocolate, from crepes and waffles to paninis and cakes. Wash everything down with cappuccinos, coffee, and Nutella hot chocolate.
Williamsburg's Extra Fancy serves fried, grilled, and raw seafood, like fish & chips and lobster bisque fries, plus a notable secret sauce-topped burger. It's open late -- until 2am every night -- and its special late-night menu will have you covered should you ever get a midnight lobster roll craving. The brick-and-wood interior is reminiscent of a New England seafood shack, albeit a hipster one.
Around the corner from the iconic Lower East Side appetizing shop of the same name, Russ & Daughters Cafe serves everything you love about the original (pastrami-cured salmon, whitefish salad on a bagel, caviar) in a sit-down luncheonette space. Cafe-specific dishes like babka French toast and halvah ice cream cater to the brunch crowd, as do Jewish classics like knishes, latkes, and matzoh ball soup. Open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, R&D Cafe is proof that Jewish noshes are the perfect anytime food.
Black Seed subscribes to the Montreal school of bagel-making, meaning its bagels, which are smaller than the quintessential New York ones, are rolled by hand, boiled in honey water, then baked in a wood-fired oven. Sandwiches made with a variety of smoked fishes and speciality spreads -- like the house-cured beet lox number with horseradish cream cheese -- continuously draw weekend crowds in search of their morning bagel fix.
Declared an NYC landmark in the early '90s, the Waldorf-Astoria on Park Ave has long hosted eminent guests. But more important than the five-star, art-deco hotel's A-list clientele is its incredible all-you-can-eat brunch at its Peacock Alley Restaurant, which, though a bit pricey, is an experience in and of itself. The Waldorf is also home to La Chine and Bull and Bear Prime Steakhouse.
Golden Unicorn is a bustling two-storied Cantonese mainstay offering dim sum via attentive, fast-moving cart service. The uniformed service and dragon/phoenix decor add to the old-fashioned dim sum dining experience. You'd be remiss not to try the Darien pastry -- it’s uncommon in Americanized spots, and GU does it very well.
This Hell's Kitchen spot doles out excellent Mexican beachside-style eats including tacos, burritos, tostadas, and the somewhat rare, breakfast tacos.
This sandwichery is doling out impressive eats, all hilariously named. Try the Butt, or Hot Goldie.
This Malaysian spot in Williamsburg is overflowing with extremely innovative eats. Head in for the s'mores roti, Ais, soft-shell crab ragu, and a drink called the Michael Jackson. Get it all.
The Brooklyn favorite's LES location has some of the best chicken & waffle combos in the entire city. Creations in the past have included chicken and Parm waffles and a special, weekend-only chicken & foieffles, and definitely don't sleep on the tasty cocktails, which are all original creations.
The Derby -- a LES Southern-fare staple -- is doling out serious eats, ranging from chicken-fried steak, Pimento patty melts, and strong, unique whiskeys.
NYC's seen its fair share of single-item centric bars and restos but none captures the zeitgeist more than BarBacon. An ode to everything pork, you'd be remiss to go to this Hell's Kitchen spot and not try a bacon flight, a riff on the omnipresent beer sampler showcasing a selection of four artisanal cured variations on the fatty treat, or at least the bacon guac. Non-bacon options (aka a beer and wine list) are also spot on.
After years of running a rickety taco truck out of its crowded back patio, The Woods in Williamsburg changed the game with a backyard bar that's slinging island-themed cocktails as well as eats from an actual kitchen operated by Landhaus (we suggest the Maple Bacon Stick, which is famous in its own right). Rotating DJs and live music round out the rest of the weekly night scene, and continuously pique the interest of the young Brooklynite scene.
This charming West Village spot (with a second location in Paris’ 9th arrondissement) offers a number of classic dishes like croque-monsieur and coq au vin alongside some great French wines, but its known primarily for its standout brunch -- namely, espresso wand-steamed scrambled eggs topped with prosciutto and shaved Parmesan.
New American comfort food is king at this narrow, popular eatery in Chelsea, which has been in operation since 1999. Menu highlights include options like shrimp tacos, slow-roasted duck breast, burgers, and steaks. What puts this spot on the map, however, is its extensive wine offerings and BYOB status, which is especially great during brunch.