11ish: It’s time to head South to Randolph Beer, for, well, beer. The really good craft kind. On the Best Day of Your Life, you get one in you before noon. Don’t worry, they’ll be open. Also open and pouring delicious micros pre-noon: Spring Lounge on Mulberry. Also open and pouring delicious macros pre-noon: Milady’s on Thompson. It's Time For Lunch: You’re doing Jing Fong for dim sum. Do not get the chicken feet no matter how bold you're feeling, as they are gross. Get there early enough, and we’ll be treating. If somehow the restaurant so massive it has its own escalators is full, Oriental Garden’s right next door
Post-Lunch: Cruise a little South to the middle of crooked old Doyers St, so you can tell people you survived the “deadliest street in the world”. Oh, you wacky Chinatown gangs of the '20s and '30s! Also, Confucius Plaza is a block away, so go there and say something mad wise.
Post-Post-Lunch: Swing back to Soho and select a stoge from OK Cigars on West Broadway. It’s infinitely better than the name. Don’t you dare smoke it yet -- you’ll need it in a few. If you hate cigars, freak yourself out with saber tooth skulls at The Evolution Store
3:30 pm: Happy hour doesn’t usually start until 5p, but it’s #BDOYL, so it starts when you want it to. Head to The Standard Biergarten to have a happy two hours. Pretzels and beer on us if you get there nice and early. Ping pong is always free. Or if you like to watch people from above, head up to the High Line to drink at Terroir
5:30 pm: Shoot right over to the Hudson River Park path and bust out that cigar. Blow smoke rings, even if you can’t.
6:00 pm: Now that’s a spicy meatball! …And the not-spicy ones are great, too. It’s all at the Chelsea branch of the Meatball Shop, and its connected/hilariously named Underballs. Not a fan of hilarious names? Then Co. is your spot for serious pizza pies. And if you’re second-guessing the name thing, the Tipsy Parson’s right there too. 7:30 pm: Get to the Frying Pan for buckets of beer and free food, plus the 831p sunset you hoped would never come. Congratulations. You just had the Best Day of Your Life.