Step 1: Pick a parking spot
Any parking spot. Hell, pick three. Let the abundance wash over you like a warm bath as you enter an alternate reality in which South Philly is not trying to destroy your car or your spirit. This will never happen again, but as they say, it is better to have loved and lost.
Step 2: Pay for your cart
You might notice the lack of abandoned carts cluttering up the Best Parking Lot in All the Land. That's because Aldi requires a $.25 deposit, a social contract that Philadelphians not only honor but gleefully embrace, rushing over to give quarters to confused newbies. Welcome to the Twilight Zone.
Step 3: Shop with wild abandon
Come for the $1.99 hummus, stay for the palette of discontinued LaCroix. And yes, that is an economy-sized box of jalapeño poppers -- you do you.
Step 4: Feel smug about remembering your bags
Aldi charges for bags, but that's fine, because you remembered yours, you thrifty steward of the Earth. Gold star.
Step 5: Feel smug about fitting everything in said bags
Drink it in and linger in the glory. It looks good on you.
Step 6: Do donuts in the parking lot
Remember this feeling, and go forth into the horizon, friend. Today was a win.
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