You've got to train with best to be the best, which is why Rocky joined up with that Apollo Creed dude before taking on Drago, and why Drago joined up with that Brigitte Nielsen dude before taking on Rocky. Opening his own spot after training at some of DC's dankest pie havens, the pizziola behind Pizzeria Orso. After cutting pies/his teeth at prolific parlors like Red Rocks, Pizza Paradiso, and 2 Amy's, "the best pizza guy on the East Coast" according to...some author...is now serving up authentic Neapolitan pies out of a tangerine-walled diner sporting star-shaped chandeliers, and a huge painted-tile mural of a bear chowing down on a pizza, hopefully not on all-you-can-eat night. Every one of the 26 naturally leavened pies are fired for ~90 seconds at 800 degrees in a red-tiled wood-oven (built by 3rd generation Neapolitan stove-smiths) after their doughy potential is realized by being prepped in a Pietro Berto "diving arm" mixer, which unlike standard ones, "gently folds" the dough to "simulate the action of a person kneading", as opposed to your Second Life avatar, which simulates the action of a person needing. Pizzas're sectioned off into "Simple", like a no cheese/rosemary Milano and a lardo/basil/garlic Antica; "Traditional", including a cream/provola/ham/mushrooms Cotto e Funghi; and "Specialty", highlighted by the grana/capers/"cockles in shell" Vongole, and a Burrata-stuffed, volcano-shaped 3-D masterpiece dubbed the "Vesuvius" -- the most delicious take on a science project since Joey Thomas converted Fruit by the Foot to the metric system. Booze's equally inventive, with an Italian-heavy wine list including "Neapolitan fizzy red pizza wine", Grotta del Sole's Gragnano, and craft drafts like Oregon-based Full Sail's Session Lager, and ginger-flavored Good JuJu from Kansas' Left Hand, which unlike Drago's, can't come anywhere close to punching at 2150 PSI. Man, that guy just can't lose! And neither can Communism!