Mothers: can't live with 'em, ...can live with 'em, but only if you appease them by being super nice one day a year so they don't kick you out of the basement. Since that day is nigh, may we present a guide to Portland's best Mother's Day brunches, organized according to mom-type
Foodie Mom Arleta Library Cafe 5513 SE 72nd; Lents; 503.774.4470 Arleta Library Cafe, a Mt. Scott hole-in-the-wall bakery, takes basic brunch classics to the next level: biscuits are made with yams and come piled with pork loin and slathered w/ sausage gravy, the Grand Torino is
super racist but eventually redeemed a frittata of spice-crusted salmon, and pan dolce comes slathered in whipped honey butter. Get more info from the Library, here
Mom Who Hates Your Life Choices Quartet 1910 SW River; South Waterfront; 503.222.7300 Trick the old lady into thinking you consume stuff other than PBR and tater tots in dark bars with a trip to Quartet, which looks like a dining room ripped out of a cruise ship and serves up fancy-pants brunch variations like Waygu steak & eggs, smoked-salmon hash, Dungeness Benedict, & shrimp etouffee w/ grits. Then, after she's gone, head to the divey sports bar across the street for dessert tots. Quartet may make her love you. See more.
Party Mom Genies 1101 SE Division; Clinton/Division; 503.445.9777 She may not yet be wild enough to hit up the Acropolis' stripper brunch, but she can go plenty wild at Genies, which takes its hand-crafted brunch seriously but its crazy cocktails even more seriously-er. Bloodies come spicy and w/ a choice of infused vodkas (habanero, bacon, garlic, dill), or if she doesn't want to get red on her blouse, there's a cucumber-infused screwdriver, ginger lemonade & mimosas. And in case she's feeling frisky, you're already halfway to the Acrop. More on your party mom's dream brunch spot
Nervous Regarding the World Mom J&M Cafe 537 SE Ash; SE Portland; 503.230.0463 Some moms might balk at the idea of waiting for 2hrs among a sea of hipsters to get candied pork belly scrambles with foraged berries. For them, the J&M is the perfect bridge. The tiny place's menu is as basic as it comes -- scrambles, biscuits & gravy, Bennies -- but everything's done to perfection and at no point will some idiot in a pink fedora ask you if you'd like to see a picture of your bacon while it was living happily on a farm. Avoid that sea of the hip. Tap here for mo'.
Very Old Mom Lily Day Cafe 3524 SE 52nd; Foster/Powell; 503.774.1164 The polar opposite of the typical brunch hustle and bustle, Lily Day's more like a midwestern cafe whose homey aesthetic complements a brunch menu loaded with homemade pastries and farm-fresh breakfast sammies. And once mom starts to go on about that nice girl you used to bring around, you can distract her by pointing out all the cool old antiques on the wall. More on what Lily Day's about