Adopting a financial model that Ron Jeremy'll totally be kicking himself for not conceiving, downtown cart Cheesesteak Factory sells its hot-meat awesomeness for $1 an inch (3in minimum, 12in maximum) and rocks four variations on Philly's greatest contribution to society (suck it, Ben Franklin). But how do you know how much of each sammie to order? With practicality in mind, we've tried them all so we can offer this length-based guide to ordering your next fix from the airport-monikered menu.
Celebrate Rosé All Day By Partying At Pinknic
The BFS: 4in Basically a standard cheesesteak w/ the choice of a fried or scrambled egg in the middle, this gut-bomb makes for a pretty dense breakfast that needs to be eaten quickly to avoid severe seepage through the sourdough roll. The longer you take, the more likely you are to be eating it with a spoon (and no, that doesn't mean you're sharing w/ Britt Daniel).
The PDX: 5in This sucker takes a Franz roll and fills it w/ blue cheese, crimini mushrooms & sweet peppers. It's a delicious variation on the classic, but, like the classic album Very Necessary, it loses points for allowing the salt to shine over peppers, more of which would push it to the next level... puh-push it real good.
The CDG: 6in The key to the amazingness that is the CDG is the French roll, whose thin crust prevents the huge mound of au jus-soaked roast beef and globs of Parmesan, Gruyere & Provolone from soaking through, giving the inside the softness of a French dip without requiring any dunkage. So, good job, France: 1200yrs in, and you finally helped a brother out!
The PHL: 12in The Philly is the the star here, because, duh. It's a perfectly simple blend of ribeye, onions, cheese (keep it real w/ a sea of Cheez Whiz) & peppers jammed into a fluffy roll from Philly's iconic Amoroso's Baking Company, which is the second best thing to come outta Philly (suck it, Big Willie Style) and makes every inch well worth its dollar.