They make the best chicken in Texas
Sure, plenty of grocers sell rotisserie chickens, but H-E-B has something called a Flaming Bird, and it’s extraterrestrial. Buy it by the plate and choose from a generous offering of sides: ranchero beans, Spanish rice, corn, cole slaw, and potato salad, or ask for the whole bird (do this). Don't be dainty: pull the meat from the bone and put it in a few tortillas, top it with homemade salsa, and you’re good.
The samples are Texas-sized
H-E-B actually gives their employees wireless headset microphones to loudly recount the massive samples they’re soon to bless you with. Swing by anytime for some sushi samples too -- those guys are always dishing it out.
You can order online
H-E-B still cares for all you depressed Texan expatriates and slothful couch potatoes. Order to your heart’s content on their user friendly website. Whether it’s a sixer of Spicy Ketchup, a party tray, or a box of macaroni, they deliver to 46 states and military bases worldwide. Also good to know: curbside pickup is an option at select stores. If you order eight hours in advance, personal shoppers will navigate the mess for you and meet you outside with your week’s groceries. There’s a service fee of $4.95, but no minimum order is required.